After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
