I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
