I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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