There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
