she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
