My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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