i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
