Need sex. Gaining weight.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
