I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
