I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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