She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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