Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
