You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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