it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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