how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
