I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
