Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
