yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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