2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
