Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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