He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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