so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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