Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
