I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
