that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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