i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
