Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I deserve to be covered in dicks
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
