You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
