that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
