I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
