Nicole vs. Life
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
