Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
