Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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