either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
