This girl is more easily done than said...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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