well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
