32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
