I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
