just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
