there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
