I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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