I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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