I wanna bring you to show and tell
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
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