ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
