So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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