smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
