I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
