he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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