she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
