Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
