Define "chronic" masturbator.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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