she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
