I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
