The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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