tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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