If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I need moral support for this bender
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
