we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
