p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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