Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Quick, to the slutcave!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
