my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
