all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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