I am puke
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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