Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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