and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
