I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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