i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
