You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
