I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
